I was catching up on my tivod Oprah and was watching Monday’s episode on “The true side of Motherhood” during playtime today. One of the topics they covered was, “Things nobody warned you about motherhood” I didn’t have to think about the question very long before an immediate answer popped into my head.
Now that’s a hard one for me to admit because I don’t want people to think I’m this shut in with no friends. I’m not the type of girl who has 100’s of girlfriends but I do have a few very dear women that I would consider some of the best friends a girl could ask for. Sam and I go on play dates with girlfriends down the street several times a week but still I often feel lonely being a stay at home mom. It’s 24-7 with this little person that can’t exactly carry on a conversation and I’m sorry but sometimes I get to 11am and can’t help but start counting down the hours until bedtime. Isn’t that sad? I hope other moms feel this way too. It’s not all the time but sometimes the monotony and hours between naps and feedings seem endless.
I realized today how lonely motherhood could get because P and I are fighting. Nothing big, well, it’s big to me right now but I’m sure the basis of our argument is pretty normal for husbands & wives. Anyway, I realized that when I don’t have him to talk to the day gets pretty darn lonely. Even though I went to the mall with my good friend Megan, when it was time to drive home I found myself dreading the silence that was ahead of me. A morning by myself with the baby, lunch with a friend, and then since I’m giving P the silent treatment an evening of by myself. Most of it once again with the baby.
I guess my point is that I didn’t quite realize when I decided to stay home how much I depended of the social interaction that comes with going to work. No one ever told me that when you take co-workers away and replace it with a cooing baby it would leave you feeling a bit down now and then. Especially when my evening social interaction is temporarily on hold until someone apologizes. That or I give in out of pure social desperation.
I’m putting myself out on a limb here by admitting all this but my gut tells me I’m not alone. SO, what did no one tell you was going to be so hard about motherhood?