I assure you I have plenty of crafts, redecorating (I can’t wait to show you my “new” playroom!) & recipes to catch you guys up on this week but today I just want to brag about my husband and catch you up on the baby situation. Is that ok?
I’ve had a lot on my mind lately with this new baby, you guys know how much I’ve struggled with finding the right Dr, the right support system…well, happy doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel today…
Over the last 2 weeks I’ve been researching the heck out of VBACs & medical practices. I’ve interviewed 3 different OB/GYN groups, which by the way having all those “meet the Dr.” appts has royally sucked & I’ve felt like canceling every one because I’m just too busy, but after each one I went, “Wow, I’m SO glad I took an hour out of my day to do that!” You learn SO much, it’s mind-blowing to me how different one Dr can be from the next. Some things one will absolutely not do, while the next will say it’s perfectly safe. If you’re having a baby I highly recommend looking around, take it from me, it’ll SO be worth it in the end. So, all that to say I found a really great group that I’m very comfortable with, I think they’ll be supportive of my wishes while still taking great medical care of the baby & me.
Although even after solidifying the Dr I still felt like I didn’t quite have my “team” together, I trust this new Dr as much as I can trust a Dr. (I’m a bit gun-shy after my birth experience with Samster) But I still felt like I needed something else, since we’re not using a midwife practice (because of the small but real VBAC risks I felt more comfortable with an OB) I started looking into what a Doula does. Basically her sole role is to be there to support mom, that’s it. She doesn’t deliver babies, doesn’t do your exams, she’s basically a super duper labor coach & friend. Someone who is trained in how to use massage, relaxation techniques, different labor positions…& is there to be mom’s rock during the whole birth process. I know from my experience with Sam that I’m one who easily gets stressed out in situations I’m unfamiliar with. I need answers, knowledge, reassurance…then I can relax and get it done. So a doula sounded like it could be a good answer for me. When I asked around at the hospital I got some mixed reviews, apparently some Doulas (at least in my area) can be a bit abrasive & don’t get along with the medical professionals. The last thing I need is my Dr & Doula having a confrontation while I’m in my 18th hour of pushing out a watermelon. I want a TEAM. Everyone at the hospital said there’s one woman they love, in their words “The best Doula EVER”. I called her up & was so excited to meet her, I HAD TO HAVE HER. But then I saw her price…let’s just say OUCH. I don’t really feel comfortable saying how much but let’s just say on the Doula price scale she was at the high end. I found out this is because she’s done over 800 births & specializes in high risk ones. (Doulas typically only take on 2-3 clients a month so I guess that’s why they have to charge so much.) Long story short I was bummed & really didn’t think it was going to work out, I told P that I couldn’t justify it & I’d just have to get over it.
Later that day I working in my craft room while Sam was sleeping when P came home from the grocery store. He said, I know you’re bummed so I got you a card. I thought, “Aw, that’s nice.” but when he handed me the card it weighed far more than a normal card should. I gave him a funny look & he nodded for me to open it. It said it was from “The Doula Fairy” and when I opened the card a handful of cash fell out! He wrote something sweet along the lines of “Thank you for being such a supportive wife, I want you to have the birth you dreamed of & know it’s important to you…book the doula.” Of course my already schizophrenic pregnancy hormones went into overdrive & I started sobbing. I think it’s the sweetest, most meaningful thing he’s ever done.
Sooo, as of now the doula is booked, our Dr is set & now we’ll just have to let nature take it’s course. I realize that having the right “team” doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll get the birth I want but it does mean that no matter what happens I’ll be able to look back & know that I did everything I could. That’s the part I’ve had the hardest time letting go of with Samster, I just gave into the excitement of meeting her & anxiety of the end of pregnancy & gave into a surgery that I didn’t necessarily need. This time I can know I’ll at least have the peace of mind that if I do have another c-section it will be because it was out of my hands & absolutely medically necessary. No doubts, 2nd guesses, I’ll just be able to cuddle my new one & move on. At least that’s what I’m hoping for…
*By the way a HUGE MASSIVE thank you to all of you who have emailed me & commented with your birth experiences & advice. Helpful doesn’t even begin to describe how much it’s meant to me, I couldn’t have learned so much without it. Thanks for being such good friends. (: