I tried going back to bed but after a few hours of laying there and doing the math as to how much sleep I could get before Sam woke up if I fell asleep right that minute I decided “screw it”. I had too much emotion & thoughts pent up and needed to get them out. I didn’t feel like journaling or blogging so I tried something I’ve never really done before. I painted. I had the supplies from when I was on bedrest at the end of my pregnancy. They’ve never really been put to good use…until last night.
Last night after I wrote that post about wedding vows I couldn’t sleep.
I snuck into Sam’s room, curled up in the rocking chair and just listened to her snore…I mean, breathe ever so delicately. It made me cry, the love can be so overpowering that you have for your child, I just want to do good by her. I want to give her the life she deserves, the home she deserves.
I was sitting there with the blank canvas, thinking about what I wanted to put on there…crazy red angry paint? I sea of sad blues? But I just wanted to capture that sweet as candy love my little girl gives to me.
The text behind the image says,
“beautiful baby girl…
in chaos i find peace
sweet breath, smelly toes, my treasures.
protect you, love you & thank you.
you fulfill me in a way i did not
know i was empty.
sweet & sass, you are all i ever wanted.
love is only the beginning”