This is one of those posts where my friends who have kids might go,
“Oh, that’s funny, so & so did that…“
but my friends who have not had children will say,
“EW.” “Wow.” “Hmm, I wonder if I can go ahead & refill my birth control prescription…“
Samster keeps pooping in her sleep. I’m sure when she’s a teenager if she ever finds this post there will be some major slamming of doors & the end of life as she knows it but I just have to see if anyone’s else kid does this. Almost everyday for the better part of last week Samster woke up early from her nap because she crapped herself. I haven’t changed her diet or eating times. She used to just poop in the morning but now, now it’s during naptime, & it’s FOUL.
I’ve decided to send a memo to her digestive tract in hopes of reaching a resolution.
Dear Samster’s Bowels,
It has been my recent experience that you’ve changed your work schedule. Although I wish to respect your independence as a functioning member of Samster’s body I have to let you know that this change is greatly effecting my naptime productivity levels. Not to mention the stank that comes from Samster’s bedroom is downright wrong & is becoming a bit of a workplace environmental issue. If there is something that has caused you to make this change that I can assist you in please let me know. Perhaps you no longer like peas with your chicken nuggets? Or you’d prefer water instead of apple juice with lunch? I’m here to work WITH you, not against you, but I can’t help you if you don’t communicate with me.
Thank you for your time & hard work, I look forward to resolving this in a timely & effective manner that will make us both happy.