Have you ever turned to a tv show to help understand what’s happening in ‘real life’?
I certainly hope you’re answer is ‘yes’ otherwise this has the distinct possibility of sounding quite ridiculous.
In college, for me, it was without a doubt Sex & the City. I was Carrie with a dash of Charlotte & P was always Mr Big. I found comfort in all of their break-ups & the inevitable draw back to each other. I found comfort watching him hurt her, as messed up as that sounds. Even when he married someone else (who happens to have a beauuutiful name & I do not mean ‘the idiot stick figure with no soul‘) or even after standing her up at the altar in the movie, I still wanted them together. I wanted him to make it right, to win her back. I guess even more than I wanted to see that he was her ‘one’ I loved seeing that she was his.
My dear friend Megan recently mentioned to me that I might like “The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce” on Bravo. It only took one of those first awful weekends without my kids to binge watch season 1. While I kind of hate the show for glamorizing what is such a destructive & horrible event in people’s lives I once again found comfort in seeing the woman’s own journey which so closely mimicked mine. She built her career around being the woman who knew it all when it came to marriage, pregnancy, motherhood…and now, divorce? I can relate. On a much teeny tinier level…of course.
I don’t know what this blog will become, if anything. There is a lot of pressure to hurry up & figure out what my new life will be. It’s kind of crazy when you break it down. It took me 8 years of marriage & 6 years of children to build this life & now in 12 months of separation I’m supposed to create a new life for my children & for myself. It’s not fair. It’s not right. But it’s reality. And he has to do the same. I guess it’s the price we’re both paying.
Loving my girls & the love I receive in return from them is my biggest priority. If I’m being honest though, it also feels good to think about the possibility of something good coming from all this mess. It feels good when I share & then hear from you that it somehow it helped. It’s this wonderful yet sad cycle of hurt & healing that occurs when we choose to let eachother in & give without illusion or pride.
I think I just gagged in my mouth a little.
But seriously, maybe there’s a possible silver lining brewing here. Maybe, just maybe, something new will evolve. Something good that I didn’t expect.
My life has been turned upside down & shaken viciously, I’m hoping that Little Pink MonsterS might just be the positive pocket change that falls out. If I can be brave enough to get up & try again…