I bet you were probably starting to wonder if I was ever going to post again…
Honestly, I thought of posting several times but I just didn’t know what to say. What was said hurt…a lot…but in spite of all of the emotions I’ve been going through I knew one thing right away, I didn’t want to act out of emotions & say something which I knew I’d regret. I tried to write several times but after the words were on the screen something felt wrong & kept me from posting, I took that hesitation to be that little voice we all have deep down which sometimes can be hard to hear, especially when you’re going through a major heartbreak where the feelings can be downright overwhelming. In hindsight now I can see why, I needed a little time to get over the awful pain of what had been said about me, and the best way to heal I’ve found has been, & continues to be spending time focusing on my girls. Sam just turned 7 although I’d swear she’s 17, that beautiful child is so mature for her age, sometimes I just watch her and am in awe. And then there’s Soph, that little biscuit just turned 5 & I thank God that He made me her mother. No matter what has happened, in the craziest, darkest moments of my life, I always at some point, during each & every day, smile because of her. She is the sweetest, funniest little munchkin you’ve ever met. I have a huge smile just typing this, thinking of her antics…the newest one being shutting every door with her bootie. I’m mean really, I can’t make this stuff up!
The truth is it has been an incredibly heartbreaking time for me and my girls over the past few weeks. And I will say I don’t wish this pain upon anyone. I am blessed though, with the support of my readers, friends, my amazing family, and with the love of my daughters it has kept me strong through it all. Even those days we’ve talked about with the tears on the bathroom floor…if you’ve been around LPM you know what I mean. We all go through it somehow, at some point. Through it all I’ve, no we’ve, survived…one day at a time my friend, one day at a time.
I also know that many of you want me to address all the of things you’ve heard, it’s just the harsh truth, some people want the juicy dirt. All I will say is that all of the untruths and distortions of the facts have been very painful to hear, but I have decided for the sake of my girls and family that no good can come out of a public back and forth, no matter how much I want to vindicate myself. My girls come first.
Does this mean I’m done blogging? Absolutely not! I am going to survive this. Our little trio is going to survive this. Somehow we will grow from it & one day will be able to bless others with what we’ve learned. I may not know exactly what our lives will look like a year from now, but I do know this: I am loved & I will be ok. As for the rest, we’ll just have to wait and see. But I promise you this … I am going to be stronger, and if you stick around you’ll see there is a lot more to me than anyone (myself included) ever knew.